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Cool Girl

by Shannon Lambert

supported by
Micah Walter
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Adriana EP
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Gwendolyn Jones
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chrisherland
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ssnure
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1.
Dido (Townie II) 04:36
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I sing of arms and a man, Many men come and gone And a landlocked Dido Left to die, though never quite burnt out on the pyre Lovers and friends passings through in tides Ships leaving port wordlessly in the night And the unknown agreements that the affairs of enclaves and caves Stay hidden as unmarked graves Leave a warm print on the bed I’ll stay here and feel it slowly grow cold Close a chapter with a death I’ll be here to watch the town grow older and older Ohh I sing of arms and a man, Every man, come and gone On their great quests to found themselves and something grand And every woman tied to the masts of ships they wreck Did she ever really get even A goddamn chance (with (uh)) Carthage beneath her feet and in her blood, They say, the queen and prisoner of her own homeland Of her own homeland Of, of, of her own homeland No I never leave, no I never leave No I never, no I never No I never, I never, never, never (etc.) leave Ohh, ohh Ohh, ohh The roads that I showed you The robes I’d have sewed you The throned I’d have made you The bed I kept saved Instead I’ll sweep up the dust you kicked up on your way past Settle for some side character from my high school calc class And I can take our kids to the same all-American Fourth of July Every single year til hopefully they’ll grow up and say goodbye And godforsaken on that pyre, still I’ll be still here I’m still here, I’m still here I am, I am, I am Slow burning always even when It feels like a damn shame, but what’s a few dirty sailors worth anyway Extinguish the pyre and watch the seas again Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit Ohh So goodbye, lost love, turns out you’re not So important after all (x3) I sing of arms and a man Many men come and gone And a landlocked Dido Left to die, though never quite burnt out on the pyre No never quite burnt out on the pyre No never quite burn out on the pyre
2.
Dear Emily, 03:06
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Dear Emily, I never much liked your poetry It just never really spoke to me And I wanted a reason to dislike you This local dead woman I never knew And now the grass doesn’t grow by the foot of your grave Where I stand like so many others who came Before to leave trinkets on your headstone A playset teacup, a stack of coins, a weathered wishbone And a cluster of letters turning to pulp on the ground From schoolchildren and local poets in town Why did they make us write letters to you? And take us to your house for every English trip in school? Hometown preoccupation I always hated it Maybe just ‘cause you’ve always been within walking distance Dear Emily, they made your life a museum Display your letters and your room for us to see them Obsessive archivists in gloves make their careers to poke and prod Your legacy, dead Emily, a private life fixed in a showcase A rich agoraphobe, or maybe just gay Now everyone loves you in death Your favorite subject So when they called you home They wrote “called back” ‘Cause you were only ever on loan Now the grass doesn’t grow by the foot of your grave Where I stand like so many others who came But unlike them I can’t look to you for inspiration Just a local kind of sadness Morbid fascination Born and died within a mile Posthumously lionized Maybe it’s a tragedy Or just some romance realized
3.
Modern Major Burnout 02:59
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I am the very model of a modern major burnout girl I don’t know why I went to college, guess I knew it’s what you do In my tiny town of many schools so full of eager fools You don’t have a degree, you’re the exception not the rule I am the very image of imposter syndrome idiots I never felt like I belong but it’s just ‘cause I really don’t Made it through my whole life long coasting on some lucky strokes It’s getting hard to see it all as nothing but just one big joke False promises, oh oh False promises, oh This makes you very important False promises, oh oh False promises, oh This is the most important thing you’ll ever do I am the very pinnacle of generation pity me I lost my job, I feel so sad, the world is really out to get me In my tiny town of many schools so full of dancing fools I’m home alone, can’t find a job to move out from my childhood room I am the very essence of your everyday basket case I’m stewing in the bell jar of my cynicism and malaise I don’t think I can make a thing without some kind of heartbreak I read some Plath at seventeen, I guess it was the end for me False promises, oh oh False promises, oh Is none of this important? False promises, oh oh False promises, oh If you don’t do this, then what will you do? [Round] I am the very model of a modern major burnout girl I don’t know why i went to college, guess I knew it’s what you do In my tiny town of many schools so full of eager fools You don’t have a degree, you’re the exception not the rule I am the very imagine of imposter syndrome idiots I never felt like I belong but it’s just cause I really don’t I made it through my whole life long coasting on some lucky strokes It’s getting hard to see it all as nothing but just one big joke False promises, oh oh False promises, oh Is none of this important? False promises, oh oh False promises, oh If it’s not, then what oh what will you do? False promises, oh oh False promises, oh Is none of this important? Oh, oh, oh False promises, oh oh False promises, oh If it’s not, Then what will you do?
4.
Cool Girl 04:17
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All I ever really wanted was to make you breakfast Banana pancakes and eyes dense with sleep in my kitchen Pajamas and bare feet All I ever really wanted was to meet your friends, and Want for you to want to show me off I practiced beer pong to impress them I could be your cool girl I could be your cool girl I could be your cool girl Keep me as your cool girl Took you to a concert ‘cross town, got you in for free Just for you to stand there, tall boy, And you won’t even dance with me Would have taken you to trivia if you’d just come out The boys all said, “Shan, he’s bad news” But I guess I just had to find out Thought I’d be your cool girl I tried to be your cool girl, oh Want to be your cool girl, oh I thought I’d be your cool girl Could have been your cool girl Should have been your cool girl Want to be your cool girl I thought I’d be your cool girl Thought I’d be your, tried to be your, But I was your fool girl And now that room is empty now ‘Cause you’ve packed your bags and cleared out of town Sealed what was left in an unmarked tomb And sometimes I still walk by that house I wonder how the floors must look clean now And if maybe there was something I left behind For you to pack up to keep to remember the time that you Almost had the cool girl You nearly got the cool girl You almost had the cool girl But you missed out on the cool girl Almost had the cool girl Nearly got the cool girl Nearly had the cool girl You almost had the cool girl Could have had the cool girl Nearly had the cool girl Almost had the cool girl But you missed out on the cool girl
5.
Young Tragedy 03:22
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What a shame that wave of grain did swallow her up whole What was left of that Honda only God could ever know Young tragedy, what a Young tragedy, such a Young tragedy Our lovely local Young Tragedy’s coming home Not a beauty or too smart or any kind of jock Now she’s all that town sees on its screens at six o’clock Won’t you bury her in roses? Daisies, lilies, pinks and posies Lived her whole life in the radius of seven miles Too bad she couldn’t get out when she was alive Young tragedy, what a Young tragedy, such a Young tragedy Our lovely local Young Tragedy’s coming home Did you ever really know her? Did you ever even know her? No. Did you ever really know her? No. Did you ever really know her? No. Did you ever even know her? No. Did you ever really know her? No.
6.
Sandy 04:35
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Two tablespoons Fresh-squeezed lemon juice Two spoons of maple, pure A dash of cayenne to your taste Mix in water, drink with haste x2 Sandy’s got thicker thighs than every girl in class And she walks around, she hates her hips And covers up her ass Sandy’s got twenty pounds on every girl in school That the boys will watch and talk about And pay attention to Oh Sandy Oh Sandy Oh Sandy Oh Sandy Oh Sandy Oh Sandy Sandy started walking one night Her blood was bitter-lemons and on fire with cayenne And Sandy walked around in circle Stalking her block There’s something ‘bout a body starved Don’t know when to stop Oooh hoo Will I be like other girls? Won’t I be like other girls? Will I be like other girls? Four A.M. with pockets of loose change Gas ‘n’ Market sugar high never hit her brain ‘Cause she’s in and she’s out again And never lets it sit Trades mouthfeel for the bile so she never has to live with it Oooh hoo Hooo ooh Oooh hoo Hoo hoo hoo hoo Years of pants and parts that don’t seem quite to fit Maybe I just don’t like it Goddamn granola hippy town Just want to be what you live around Just want to be what you live around Sandy’s got thicker thighs than every girl in class And she walks around, she hates her hips And covers up her ass Sandy’s got twenty pounds on every girl in school That the boys will watch and talk about And pay attention to Sandy’s got thicker thighs than every girl in class And she walks around, she hates her hips And covers up her ass Sandy’s got twenty pounds on every girl in school That the boys will watch and talk about And pay attention to Oh Sandy Oh Sandy Oh Sandy Two tablespoons Fresh-squeezed lemon juice Two spoons of maple, pure A dash of cayenne to your taste Now mix in water, drink with haste I'm sorry I can't be your ingenue I'm sorry I can't be your ingenue I'm sorry I can't be your ingenue I'm sorry I can't be your ingenue I'm sorry I can't be your ingenue I'm sorry I can't be your ingenue
7.
Experimentations in Ethical Non-Monogamy 04:32
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Your flatmate doesn’t ask my name You introduce me anyway And I wonder as you close your bedroom door What Everett must have thought of me We watch your girlfriend’s tortoise Elvis walk into the wall again and again I say “I’m like Elvis in this way” You don’t know what to say And so I stare at your bed And by yours, I mean, yes, a collective “you” The bed belonging to the two of you Your girlfriend and you And your girlfriend and you And your girlfriend, your girlfriend, your girlfriend Hey, where’s your girlfriend? She knew I was coming and decided to leave Hey, where’s your girlfriend? I think about her as I’m falling asleep Her life is everywhere in the room In self portrait in Polaroid The craft store frame around your faces And her dog eared pages on table side I want to ask, “Is this her weighted blanket or yours?” And “How many people have had sex on this duvet?” And why the fuck do you need so many blankets, It’s the middle of July, man, And hey, by the way Hey, where’s your girlfriend She picked you up in Hartford, ditched you in EaHo, yes/no? Man, where’s your girlfriend She’s out of town and she doesn’t even know Hey, where’s your girlfriend She’s all over the the walls And she’s all over the bed And I can’t help but think about my own At least it’s fun to kiss you It’s very fun to kiss me You like my mouth a lot And I like yours okay [Round] At least it’s fun to kiss you It’s very fun to kiss me You like my mouth a lot And I like yours okay What if I like him more? What if I like him more? Is this okay? Is this okay Is this okay? It’s all okay Is this okay? Is this okay? What if I, I, I? If it’s okay, it’s all okay Hey, where’s my boyfriend? Is he out there sleeping with another girl and Thinking “where’s my girlfriend? Is she out there sleeping with another person?” Hey, where’s your person? Are they out there sleeping with another person? Hey, where’s your person? Are they out there sleeping with another person? Are they out there sleeping with another person? Oh they’re out there sleeping with another person Yes, they’re out there sleeping with another person
8.
untitled Smith song 04:26
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[unintelligible] What did you want me to say to you? That I haven’t seen your mouth in months? I forgot what it looked like I got distracted by the sight What is there to say at all? [unintelligible] I don’t have anything to say at all [unintelligible]
9.
For the Dishwasher and the Hostess 05:13
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You’re glowing orange in light that parking lot Outside the dive where we first had met Years have passed you still remember My first entrance, so you’ve said When you were just the whipping boy, oh In the dish pit beating back the brow Almost didn’t quit, you didn’t have the digits Now look who’s throwing in the towel Cause you’re afraid of getting old now Too old for playing games with me, anyhow I wasn’t far behind you until now Decide you’ll grow up, go and take your bow So you can clear your head, start seeing straight Rush off to some 9 to 5 you hate I hope you make good with your mom for it She didn’t like me anyway And I know that you think you’re at this stand-still here, life’s stuck in stagnancy Sure, the world hates us both right now but I still like you, even at twenty three I never asked you to be more, these self-inadequacies you see have got nothing to do with me I can’t clear your fog but when you find that you’re not so lost, I hope you’ll find your way back to me Ahh, ahh, ahh I won’t say you gave me every reason To think you’d stay my every four seasons I didn’t asked you to, went by your leading And you know it as you’re leaving So this is it, if you’re not gonna jump tracks I’ll take my Vonnegut paperback And leave the corkscrew in your drying rack It was a gift, please don’t give it back Please don’t give it back Please Ahh, ahh, ahh
10.
Crocker Farm 04:45
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I take the access road we walked each morning rank and file In herds of rubber boots on rainy days, worms bloated wet and white Half-drowning in the puddles welled up and down the blacktop The boys all jumped on writhing bodies as all the girls shrieked “Stop” I remember my dad teaching me to count over on that swing set While he pushed me so that I could swing so high above his head I was mad I couldn’t count when all of my friends knew past ten I was never good at keeping lists, anyway, back then And the hill we rolled down isn’t so much of a hill anymore Maybe it never was But the sumac remains, red and primal looking like it’s been there Ever since the dinosaurs They never rebuilt this playground and I hope they never do The orange tube slide we went down though we were not permitted to Still stands in the corner and looks so grown to me now It’s always looked so grown-up to me somehow Maybe it’s the graffiti, the after-school TV special-type of look Like we stole it off the set of Boy Meets World Or took a page from Even Stevens’ book We might as well have I saw them tear down another playground that I Knew as a kid To rebuild from the ground, a new one meant to last until Those youths are done with it I didn’t go to that school very long but half my life by the time I left Too many sad stares, gossip teachers, the change was for the best I’m back living with him now and back swinging on the swing set It’s all the same except for the broken hearts, the sickness, and the debt Hmmm
11.
I've been on my phone too much 01:57
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I’ve been on the phone too much Talking on my phone too much I’ve been on my phone too much these days Kiss my friends through broken glass When they’re gone I’ve been alone the whole time Send my love in plastic wrap And I’ll see you on the other side ‘Cause I’ve been on my phone too much Talking on my phone too much I’ve been on my phone too much these days Yes, I’ve been on my phone too much Talking on my phone too much I’ve been on my phone too much these days
12.
Teenage Boy 05:01
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If I’d been raised a teenage boy Maybe I’d have all the right pedals and toys If I’d just come up as one of the guys Would have joined a band instead of singing in choirs If I’d been invited to play with the lads Maybe my guitar skills wouldn’t suck so bad And I would flex the lingo you learn as a bloke ‘Stead I’m afraid of wires and the butt of the joke It’s not that I’m not very, very, very, very grateful For Nina, Mitski, Courtney, Fiona, Angel But if I’d been playing in the combo instead of singing Amy I’d have listened to Kid A before my boyfriend made me If I were a bro I’d never think to tread softly Say hey, man, “you know, it’s just a style” if I’m off-key Missed out on that classic rock bildungsroman So catch me running up that hill to deal with someone Would have been pretty cool to be seen as a creator Not just the singer, the arm candy thrown in later Closest I ever got was going home with the bassist At his own house show so just two floors up from the basement Technical bimbo with computers and the cords “Like, what are all these cables even for?” I’m just fraud hiding behind crossfades and a nose ring How do boys already know these things? I would have known everything I could have known everything I should have known everything And I’d harass girls at the music store Tell them my correct opinions no one’s ever had before Got a complex relationship to Taylor Swift But could have donned a beanie, grown a Reddit following, And started a podcast sucking Pitchfork’s dick If I’d been raised a teenage boy Oh, if I’d only been raised a teenage boy If I’d been raised a boy Maybe I would know just what a “pick up” was Could have been raised a teenage boy, ooh Surely I’d’ve been born just knowing all this stuff Yes surely I’d’ve been born just knowing all this stuff
13.
The Great Thaw 02:27
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It’s Spring now I’ll shave my legs for the first time Since you’ve been gone It was a long winter You were here for most of it I wish you’d stuck around For the Great Thaw Part of me hopes you’ll wake up and see what you want With the dark days out of the way I know Winter sucks in Western Mass But the Summer’s better and it’s not far away And we can make it work, if you’ll just try and stay And we can see it better in the light of longer days Yes, we can make it work, if you’ll just try and stay Yes, we can can make it work, if you’d just try and stay But it’s Spring now I’ll shave my legs for the first time Since you’ve been gone It was a long winter You were here for most of it I wish you’d stuck around For the Great Thaw But it’s Spring now I’m shaving my legs for the first time Since you’ve been gone And I’m going to meet somebody else Start the whole thing over again and all With any luck, he’ll stick around For the Great Thaw This time next year With any luck, he’ll stick around For the Great Thaw This time next year

about

I made this for my senior thesis in music at Smith.
Mastered version coming Summer 2021 maybe??

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released May 16, 2021

All songs written, performed, recorded, and mixed by Shannon Lambert

Special thanks to Adele L. for her performance of both parts of the violin duet in "For the Dishwasher and the Hostess."

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Shannon Lambert Northampton, Massachusetts

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